In my line of work, I get the privilege and opportunity to be invited into a number of different churches around the area to sing and lead worship. I count it as a joy to be on the front lines, running ahead of God’s people into His presence, inviting them to come along with me and enjoy God!
And yet, lately, I have struggled to connect my heart to my head. My thoughts have been distracted with thoughts of how I sound when singing, what people think of me, if I am impressed with myself or not. Instead of gazing at the Creator, the one who deserves all the attention, I have been gazing at myself.
There are multiple problems with this, but two of them stand out to me: One, this is a terrible offense to the God of glory who is the only rightful object of my worship. Two, my supposed worship has become cold as I struggle to sense His presence.
I wonder if you have found yourself in a similar circumstance. The work that once came alive for you and caused you to enjoy God’s goodness has lost its spark. You are going through the motions. You might even look obedient to outsiders, but inside you know that you have lost your pursuit of the presence of God.
“Yet even now,” declares the Lord, “return to me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning; and rend your hearts and not your garments.” Return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love. –Joel 2:12-13
God wants my heart. He doesn’t want an outward display of piety.
I have found through this time that no matter how many times I try to remind myself to worship God in truth and purity, and not worship myself, I can’t make it happen. I need God Himself to do the work of changing my heart.
A coal can’t light itself on fire, but when it comes close to the flame, it comes alive. I can’t make myself come alive. You can’t pull yourself up by your bootstraps to bring an acceptable offering to God.
Come close to the source, the flame, the Holy Spirit who is a fire poured out into our hearts. Only by drawing near to Him can you be revived and fanned into flame.
I have begun praying that the Holy Spirit would help me to see God’s beauty and activity each day, all around me. I know that He will be faithful to show me, because He is a God who has proven, by sending us His Son, that He desires for me to see Him and know Him!
If you find yourself cold toward God, will you pray today for God to reveal His nearness to you?
Allie
